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Cricket and Baseball

by William F. Kirk, 1910

The cricket game was over and the sun was sinking low,
The players in their blazers plodded homeward in a row.
They stopped within the clubhouse for a final cup of tea,
When up spake Captain Edgerton to Bowler Basil Fee:

“Jolly well tried, old chap!
  You lost as the greatest can;
But whether you win or whether you lose
  You're always a gentleman.
Have a Scotch and soda, old fellow—
  It will drive off the blooming blues;
Keep up your stride, you jolly well tried,
  And a man can't always lose.”

The baseball game was over and the home team had been skinned,
The players slunk across the field while sundry knockers grinned;
They hurried to the clubhouse for a bath and change of garb,
When up spake Manager McDuff, and each word was a barb:

“Fine lot of high-priced athletes!
  Most of you ain't alive!
I could pick a team from the Soldiers' Home
  And beat you four out of five.
Be out here at ten to-morrow—
  That goes the way that it lays;
Any mixed-ale sport that doesn't report
  Will squat on the bench ten days!”

Published in Right off the Bat: Baseball Ballads

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